12 Little Known Traits of People Who Actually Give Zero F*cks
A life philosophy that can actually make you a little less anxious
Who popped into your head after reading this headline?
Someone popped into my head.
Someone from my past.
I can’t remember a single meaningful conversation with the guy, but I remember his energy. It screamed, “It’s not worth the effort.”
He usually wore clothes from the night before and preferred an intoxicated internal cabin pressure as opposed to sober.
His schedule didn’t revolve around work but around shortcuts. He resorted to cheating off others when shortcuts weren’t available.
Here’s the great irony with the “I don’t give a f*ck” lifestyle: They act like they don’t care because they care too much.
They care too much about what others think about them.
Contrast this with a 23-year-old I met in Austin the other day.
He came to the city broke. He labored to pay rent during the day and hustled with his start-up idea at night. Not a glamorous start to his post-college career. Most people would call it “ill-advised” or “risky.”
He did what he felt was right.
Now he runs a company entering its first valuation round.
Now that’s someone who actually gives zero f*cks.
The key to less anxiety is choosing what to give a f*ck about.
The writer Mark Manson published a book about this philosophy.
He says, “The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.”
With this in mind, here are 12 little-known traits of people who actually give zero f*cks.
1.) They’re ok being different.
“Not Giving a Fuck Does Not Mean Being Indifferent; It Means Being Comfortable With Being Different.” — Mark Manson
Living your best life. That is the definition of being different.
Acting a certain way to please others causes anxiety. You’re betraying your values. Bad things happen when you betray your values for too long.
People who actually don’t give AF lean into what makes them different because that’s where the money is.
2.) They read a lot.
“Many young men die at 25, but aren’t buried until they’re 75.” — Benjamin Franklin
Mr. Franklin was referring to a man who stopped learning. A man convinced that he’s already a master.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck don’t care about becoming a master.
They remain students, and the title naturally falls to them.
3.) They don’t get jerked around by outside distractions.
We get jerked around by external distractions all the time.
Pat Riley, when he coached the Lakers, had a term for all external distractions like crazy fans, greedy agents, and ex-girlfriends. He called them peripheral opponents. The counterforce is discipline. The discipline to say no.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck understand that discipline sets you free.
4.) They work a lot.
Both pretenders and people who actually don’t give a f*ck want to do things on their own terms.
The difference is, the latter doesn’t shy away from the work. Instead, they create schedules that challenge them to do better. They rarely give a f*ck about anything else.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck understand that wanting a dream life doesn’t shelter you from the hard work required to form the reality.
5.) Influencers don’t influence them.
Do you get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information flung at you by social media?
Ryan Holiday once tweeted: “If you start your day with social media, the news, or email. You’re starting your day at the mercy of others before your feet have even touched the ground.”
People who actually don’t give AF find ways to generate original thought.
6.) They remember names.
Everyone deserves respect.
Everyone deals with their own shit in their own way and everyone is trying their best.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck give a f*ck about their neighbors. They show it with small acts like remembering names.
7.) They don’t complain.
I have a client who actually gives zero f*cks. I love working with her.
She told me she will listen to your drama once, maybe twice, but after that, “I’m done. You’re playing the victim, and I have no time.”
People who actually don’t give AF understand complaining isn’t helping anything.
8.) They exercise a lot.
People who proclaim they don’t give AF believe they are above fitness.
Talent alone unearthed their treasure in life. No more effort needs doing. That might be true in the short term, but they forget fitness is all-encompassing. It’s a healthy diet, it’s a good night’s sleep, it’s your source of energy.
Most importantly, it’s where you draw mental toughness. As Seneca said, “The body should be treated rigorously so that it may not be disobedient to the mind.”
9.) They maintain their sobriety.
Pretenders use drugs and alcohol to shield them from responsibilities.
Responsibilities like work or taking care of their health. To the pretender, drugs and alcohol are an excuse. An excuse to act recklessly. To engage in meaningless fights. It is written that Alexander The Great killed his best friend during a drunken brawl.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck know that drunkenness is overrated.
10.) They show up on time.
If you’re not early, you’re late. If you’re late, you’re causing trouble.
Showing up on time seems counterintuitive to the “I don’t give a fuck” lifestyle. After all, why should I care about your feelings? I work on my schedule, not yours.
It’s a matter of respect. People who actually don’t give a f*ck show up on time because they respect themselves and others.
11.) They challenge themselves.
The chief difference between people who actually don’t give a f*ck vs the pretenders is in where they place their attention.
Pretenders care so much about what others think that they never challenge themselves. Why? Because that would mean looking like a fool for a while. Pretenders can’t afford to look like a fool.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck say bring it on.
12.) They seek process, not outcome.
Good people dream. Great people do.
Most of us place achievement and admiration on a pedestal, and when things don’t work out, we get depressed. That’s why people quit or never start new challenges. Research tells us that the more people dream about a desired outcome, the less effort they put into pursuing them.
People who actually don’t give a f*ck worry less about the outcome and more about the process.
Amen! Spot on!