3 Things Highly Ambitious People Should Know About Burnout
Including 3 effective tips for eliminating burnout
P.S. - Here’s an article from last year. Burnout seems to be on everyone’s mind, so I reshaped the article and resubmitted it to a few publications.
-Cal
A recent college grad asked me the other day about work habits.
I responded with an accurate but unoriginal answer: wake up early, eat healthy foods, and don’t stay up late drinking.
He appeared satisfied with the answer, but I wish I had given him something with more substance.
Later that night, I put myself in the shoes of a hungry 22-year-old. What would I tell myself If I were the kid asking questions? I kept coming back to one answer: Work less.
Why?
I’m 28 years old. When I look back on the past six years, I notice that the source of all my burnout episodes, breakups, and the times I’ve neglected friends and family, were tied to my obsession with getting ahead.
For the record, that’s not corporate America’s fault. That’s my fault.
Here’s what I’ve learned about burnout during those years and, more importantly, how to avoid it.
1.) Performance is dictated by happiness, not the other way around
A successful broker at my company recently spoke to a group of up-and-comers (myself included). He talked about how to win in a cutthroat, competitive business like commercial real estate. He’s one of the best we got, yet he never mentioned working long hours or cold calling or any of the typical industry buzz words.
His advice boiled down to this: balance.
Here’s a guy who spent his twenties at the office from 6:30 am to 7:30 pm, went home to see his girlfriend for 45 minutes, opened his laptop, and continued working till 11 pm.
You don’t need to be a psychologist to know he was on a one-way ticket to burnout — which is what happened. Within a year, his weight ballooned 30lbs, and he lost all love for a business that had sparked passion a year earlier.
With the help of mentors and his family, he realigned his values and learned to prioritize other areas of his life.
One sympathizes.
Everyone in their twenties thinks they have bottomless energy. We tell ourselves we will outwork the competition and stay at the office later than our peers because we believe speed equals success.
It’s a mistake.
Our careers are a marathon, always have been, and success belongs to those who maintain balance. All of us have several roles in life other than work: we are friends, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, boyfriends, girlfriends, athletes, activists, and artists. They, too, deserve your attention.
Why do we invest so much time in our work? Maybe it’s for more money, or more titles, or to appear more attractive?
For me, it goes a little deeper. It’s a desperate need to matter.
Another mistake.
Instead of work fueled by purpose, it’s work fueled by anxiety and fear. What beautiful product has ever been designed under such conditions?
It’s ironic how we think placing all our attention on work will elevate the rest of our life. It is just the opposite.
Performance is dictated by happiness, not the other way around.
2.) You will regret the extra hour spent in the office
My friends and I recently rented a lake house for a weekend. We all live in different cities, but we still visit each other at least once a year. I hadn’t seen most of them since early 2019. My friends had planned to stay through Monday afternoon. I wanted to leave Sunday because, well, I didn’t want to miss a workday.
That’s when my mom called and said something I’ll never forget. “In 50 years from now, will you care if you worked 56,024 hours vs. 56,014 hours?” I stayed until Monday, and I’m thankful that I had.
Why were we placed on this earth?
Was it to work until our backs give in like the horse from Animal Farm?
Or to spend our twenties conquering the world like Alexander the Great just to die at 32, thousands of miles away from home, probably poisoned by your friends?
When I look back, I regret working the extra hour. I regret not going to that concert, missing that birthday Zoom call, and rescheduling that date.
It took some time to realize this, but the only person requiring you to work till midnight is yourself. That email can wait. The call doesn’t have to be returned right now. That extra hour in the office will not make or break you.
It’s ok to say no.
3). Effective balance tactics — How to regain balance in your life
The path to happiness is paved with questions like “what’s my purpose?” and “why am I doing this?” After that, it’s about discipline and focus. There are dozens of books and articles about finding your purpose. Read Simon Sinek, for instance, if you want to narrow down your why.
If you still find it challenging, here are three practical things you can do to rediscover your priorities, achieve balance, and find happiness.
Travel alone: I hiked Olympic National Park last year by myself. I shut off my phone for a few days and slept in a tent outside of Forks WA — one of the most isolated places in the continental US.
It sounds like hippie BS, but here’s why traveling to discover yourself works: You give yourself space to untangle your thoughts and answer the problems normally shoved to the back of your mind.
Book an Airbnb in a less populated destination with the intention of answering these questions:
What I’m I neglecting in my life?
What I’m I not doing that I want to be doing?
What can I change in my life that can make me so much happier?
Find your flow activity: A flow activity is a practice of deep focus coined by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. In his words, flow is “an activity for the sake of activity. The ego falls away. Time falls away. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skill to the utmost.”
Flow is being 100% present in the role you’re currently undertaking. If you’re on a date, for instance, you’re 100% engaged in the conversation and not drifting to work-related anxieties. You can practice being in this state with a flow activity.
Learn more about flow activities here.
Remember, what you choose to give attention to will determine your emotional experience.
Turn off your phone: If you’re checking email during a workout, then you’re splitting focus between the workout and everything else. You’re not 100% present.
Block 2 hours per day to give your phone a rest.
Final Thoughts
Life rewards those who hustle, but like all things in life, practice moderation.
When I think about workaholism, I think of Alexander the Great and Tiger Woods. On the one hand, their drive allowed them to conquer their corner of the world. But at what cost?
Their happiness? Tiger in the hospital again after another drug overdose.
Their relationships? Alexander the Great killed his best friend during a drunken brawl.
Sorry. Not for me.
Here’s my final thought for ambitious people.
You work so that one day you will matter to people. But ironically, when you invest in yourself and others, you will find, in fact, you always did.