I want to admit a guilty pleasure. Please don't laugh.
It's Selling Sunset on Netflix. I binge-watched the new season, and it was fabulous:)
If you don't know Selling Sunset, it's a reality show about sexy people selling multi-million dollar homes in LA. Only it's not about the real estate. It's about a group of coworkers who constantly pick fights and get offended by every little backhanded comment.
I can't help but shake my head when I watch, but the truth is, I've had my fair share of relationship drama in my life. I often carry grudges longer than needed. Who am I to judge?
We place a lot of pressure on the people closest to us. I'm talking about our friends, partners, family members, coworkers, etc.
We tend to think that because they love us and would walk on hot coals for us, and pay our college tuition, and watch our dog while we're on vacation, that everything they do or say is for our benefit.
Then when they do something that hurts, we start burning bridges.
Here's a piece of relationship advice that has helped me. It's from an unlikely source, but it's the best relationship advice I've ever heard.
"It helps to be a little deaf."
The quote comes from the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It was her response when asked how she handled all the slights, insults, and mistakes hurled at her throughout her career – even from people she loved.
She's saying that you don't have to take offense to everything. You don't have to pick fights when someone tugs at your ego. You can play the indifferent game occasionally.
"But Cal! What does RBG know about my relationships?"
Remember, she was married for 56 years and served on a male-dominated Supreme Court for 27 years – She received her fair share of backhanded comments.
“When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken,” RBG once said. “Best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.”
So the next time someone gives you a slight that rubs you the wrong way. Don't be like a Selling Sunset agent, be like Ted Lasso and RBG. Play deaf and move on.