The act of stringing sentences together is difficult.
But by far, the hardest part about writing is sitting down in that chair.
On my worst days, it’s not the writer’s block that stops me. It’s that I don’t even get started. It’s like all of a sudden, I don’t feel the need to prioritize this thing that I’ve decided to prioritize.
There are usually two thoughts going on in my head.
“I don’t need to do that now. It can wait till tomorrow.”
“No matter what I write, people won’t like it. It’s nonsense anyway.”
The thoughts often win, and rationality loses.
Writing vs. The Monkey Brain
On days like these, “resistance days,” as I like to call them, I’ll open a book about writing from my library and search for inspiration.
Or at least an explanation.
I found a quote from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. I actually highlighted this years ago, but it applies to this article.
“If you’re not careful, station KFKD will play in your head twenty hours a day, nonstop.” She writes.
“Out of the right speaker in your inner ear will come an endless stream of self-aggrandizement, the recitations of one’s specialness, of how much more open and gifted and knowing and misunderstood and humble one is.”
“Out of the left speaker will be the rap of songs of self-loathing, the lists of all the things one doesn’t do well, of all the mistakes one has made today and over an entire lifetime, the doubt, the assertion, that everything, the one touches turns to shit, the one doesn’t do relationships well, that one is every way a fraud, incapable of selfless love, that one had no talent or insight and on and on and on.”
She’s warning young writers: Try not to get stuck in your own head.
Turn Off The Radio in Your Head
When you’re high on your own supply, you put stuff off for later. It’s like saying, “I’m bigger than this. This thing can wait for me.”
You’re not, and it won’t.
When you’re self-loathing, you’re thinking about how to make the next article perfect because if it’s not, people will hate it. You’re going to get retweeted. You’re going to get unfollowed.
Benjamin Franklin had a curious way of spelling perfection: P-A-R-A-L-S-I-S.
The KFKD radio story reminds us that your little monkey brain doesn’t always work in your best interest. In fact, it’s probably lying to you.
We are all susceptible to the obsessions of the mind—fantasies that bully you into doing anything else except the main thing.
The key to writing is to stay grounded and turn off that radio station. Live a little less in the abstract and more in the moment.
Tools That Help Me Stay in The Moment and Write
My college golf coach taught our team to attach awareness to an object—like a coin.
If your mind gets overexcited after a big birdie putt or you get down on yourself after a double bogey, you can take out this special coin. Give it a feel, and you’re reminded that none of it matters in this moment.
All that matters is the next hole, the next swing.
It’s the same practice Consuls had in ancient Rome. When a new leader was elected, they would parade the Consul through the streets in a carriage. While Rome’s citizens tossed flowers and sang praises, a slave stood next to the Consul and repeated the words, “Remember, you will die one day.”
Talk therapy is another important tool. You heard that right! Therapy made me a better writer. I tell my therapist what makes me feel low or overexcited, and she helps me find the reality of the situation.
“Reach out to someone you trust,” Brene Brown wrote. “A person who has earned the right to hear our story and who has the capacity to respond with empathy.”
Journaling also helps me remain grounded. You write down your thoughts and can immediately hold them up for review.
It’s Never as Serious as You Think
Sometimes, writing feels like you’re Jon Snow at the battle of the bastards facing down a charging calvary.
A lost cause.
But it’s not and never will be, that serious. These tools help remind me of that.
I’ve found that as I’ve continued to journal and attend therapy, I am more able to notice the monkey brain or when my ego inflates.
“There’s no one to perform for. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned in all that is around us.”
-Ryan Holiday
Bird by bird is one of my favorite books!