How to be instantly more charismatic at your next party
It's called the subtle art of asking for help
I’m reading a book right now called “Do Cool Shit” by Miki Agrawal.
It’s about a young entrepreneur who did cool shit in her twenties: she played professional soccer, produced films, traveled the world, and opened a pizza restaurant in New York City.
Her secret? She just put herself out there. She wrote down her goals, told people what she wanted to do, and asked for help.
Here’s an example:
While Miki studied abroad in London, she took a bike tour around the city with her classmates. Before the tour, the guide urged everyone not to stray. “We can’t afford a lawsuit.”
A fair request, but Miki had her own agenda: to make friends with actual British people and not just Americans.
As they neared Hyde Park, she noticed a group of guys playing soccer. “Brits playing my favorite sport,” she thought. “That’s my in.”
She had a choice to make: play by the rules, or accomplish her goal.
She ditched the tour, rode up to the pitch, and stopped her bike in the middle of the game — the guys had to listen. “Hey, quick, come over here. I need help with something.” She said, “I just flew in from New York, and I really need some people to play football with. Can I get your number?”
Everyone was shocked, but one guy slipped her a number. She called that evening and met the whole group at a pub. They became her entourage for the rest of the trip.
People rarely ask for help, especially around strangers. It makes sense. We want people to think we’re smart and asking for help exposes our vulnerabilities.
Charisma hack: You can swallow your pride for a few minutes to ask for help. Ask for advice about a project you’re working on, or ask about good recipes for a dinner party.
Say this, “I’m happy I met you because I’m working on this thing and I need help…”
Great bit of advice Cal!