I Moved To A New City and Learned a Hard (but Beautiful) Truth About Life
Why I moved to Austin
My decision to move from Ohio, my home for 28 years, took shape exactly one year ago this week.
I had just left a career that required me to live in Columbus. For how long? I’ll tell ya. Forever.
I remember not sleeping well at the time. When I did sleep, I often woke up in a cold sweat and thought, “Oh, is this all there is?”
I’m supposed to wear a blue suit and a white button-up every day and live in a city I’m so familiar with that I can’t go to a restaurant without seeing someone I know from high school.
That’s how it starts, folks. A career change, the decision to leave a partner, or moving to a new city. We all reach a point, sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once, when you realize you’ve betrayed your values.
Bad things happen when you betray your values for too long.
I quit my career and did something crazy (by my standards). At 29 years old, I moved to a city where I knew absolutely no one — Austin, Texas.
I’ll tell you something else. The decision scared the living sh*t out of me.
It’s ok to be scared, but don’t let that stop you.
I’ve made plenty of big decisions most people would consider “scary.”
I went to a small D-III college without knowing anyone. I studied abroad in Paris, France, without knowing anyone or even speaking the language. I started a blog with no writing experience or knowing anyone who wrote online.
Each turned out to be the best decisions I’ve ever made.
The weird thing is, none of these challenges scared me. In fact, I don’t remember thinking twice about them.
So why was I terrified of moving to Austin? Did I lose my nerve?
I actually don’t think so.
Here’s a hard (but beautiful) truth I learned about life: The older you get, the harder new challenges become.
Why? Because you’re more aware of everything that could go wrong.
I didn’t think about the consequences in my early twenties. I’m not sure I cared. How can you care about a hot stove you’ve never touched?
But the thing is, friends and family become more important with age. Routines become your lifeboat. Your network becomes your job security. As you get older, you realize how long it takes to build those comforts.
Moving to Austin means starting from scratch.
How did I overcome fear and go?
I guess you can say I nipped it in the bud.
I wrote down the consequences of not going. Sure, it’s scary leaving home, but how much worse would it be to wake up at 35 or 40 years old and never tried?
I talked to a friend who left Columbus for Philadelphia (also a town where he didn’t know anyone). I asked him how he handled the fear.
Here’s what he texted me:
“It’s tough and you’ll have some lonely stretches but it’s also exciting to have a whole new city in front of you to explore, people to meet, and opportunities and experiences that you never had or even knew about.”
“It’s emotional leaving your friends and the comfort of Columbus, But I think you’ll find that it’s worth it.”
That’s damn right.
New challenges are about not knowing what’s going to happen but doing them anyway
If there’s anything I’ve learned about new challenges, it’s that things will never be perfect. The timing is never great, and no one can guarantee that things will work out.
But it’ll do something.
If a business fails, at least you’ve learned new skills like how to create an LLC, marketing, sales techniques. Those lessons don’t go away. That’s why challenges are vital to growth. You failed, but you increased your value by trying.
The obstacle becomes the way as Ryan Holiday put it.
The entrepreneur and podcaster Chris Williamson has this brilliant line about perfectionism:
“Perfectionism is procrastination masquerading as quality control.”
My decision to move to Austin was not perfect. I placed my financial and relationship goals on the back burner just to make this happen. Some would say unwisely.
So I don’t know if things will work out in Austin.
I do know that it’s aligned with my values.
I do know that it’ll do something.
And doing something like this will only get harder with age.
Airplanes are a fabulous way to bring you visitors as well as visiting. What a wonderful line Ace! I so love your inputs.
You're right it gets harder!!!