If you adopt these 3 positive mindsets, you can achieve more than most
Treat life like a backyard pickup game
If You Adopt These 3 Positive Mindsets, You Can Achieve More Than Most
Gary V cracks me up.
His posts, especially the self helpy ones, were clearly conceived during a podcast interview or IG Live rant after about four and a half-iced coffees.
Here’s his latest:
I can hear it now. “Hey D-rock, print that shit. That’s fucking gold.”
The glass half full thing is an overused cliché. But Gary knows better than most the correlation between success and positivity — the deep-rooted belief that no matter how bad things get, everything will turn out ok.
Without positivity, we walk the earth reactively, bouncing around the dark, waiting for someone to tell us what to do and where to go. Without positivity, negativity takes hold, fear sets in, and creativity ends. As Jon Gordon once noted, “being positive won’t guarantee you will succeed, but being negative will guarantee you won’t.”
Now, it’s one thing to feel momentarily inspired by books, blogs, and Gary V Instagram posts, and it’s another thing to prioritize positive mindsets. Just like it’s one thing to experience an orgasm and another thing entirely to read about it.
“being positive won’t guarantee you will succeed, but being negative will guarantee you won’t.”
So here you have it, three positive mindsets you can adopt that successful people use and that you can adopt so nothing throws you off your game.
Go To The Bookstore
“That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn.”
-Merlin, The Once and Future King
Inspiration feels like falling in love.
Your throat swells, hairs stick up on the back of your neck, and you see the idea everywhere. Not a day goes by that you don’t chase it.
It’s like when Hemingway called Paris a “moveable feast”. Wherever you go, so goes the idea.
A few years ago, I was low. I won’t go into detail, but here’s the summation: no money, single, and diagnosed with a concussion (I banged heads with a guy playing basketball). What did I do next? Well, I have a strange habit whenever I’m stuck in a rut: I go to the bookstore. It’s never failed to spring me back to life and refill my cup.
Here’s why.
Learning sparks inspiration. It inspires me to write, provides perspective, and introduces new habits to bring into my life. Learning compels me to venture out of my comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory. Learning gives me the feeling that I’m bettering myself—that I’m advancing towards something meaningful. And that, my friends, is hope.
Want to get into a positive mindset? Learn something new.
Go to the library. Go to a bookstore. Read about the stoics like Marcus Aurelius or Seneca. Pick up a biography. Learn how to code. Learn how to write. Learn how to cook. Chug a red bull and read that book your parents got you for Christmas.
Learn. It’s the only thing that never fails.
Don’t Even Take The Present Seriously
Not giving a fuck is the apex-positive mindset.
A mindset that says I only focus on things I can control and things out of my control do not change who I am or my goals.
She didn’t text back. I don’t care.
I Didn’t get the job offer. I don’t care.
They rejected my article. I don’t care.
I went to a PGA golf tournament last week. While watching Bryson DeChambeau punish golf balls on the practice range, a friend told a tale of a former touring pro he’d met. My friend asked him what he would do differently while on tour. “If I could go back,” he answered. “I would tell my younger self not to take golf so seriously. I would tell him to not give a fuck and just to let it rip.”
Not take it seriously! A professional athlete competing for millions of dollars in front of thousands of people and cameras watching his every move. How can you not give a fuck?
But that’s what we do.
“It’s ironic,” I told my friend. “I have the same thoughts about college, high school, work… about everything.”
That’s the truth. When I look back on most events, my concluding thoughts are usually, “why did I care so much?”
How about you?
I don’t have a practical tactic to get you into the who gives a fuck mindset. In fact, Marc Manson, the godfather of not giving fuck, says that all you can really do is try.
“Try not giving a fuck, there’s a lot of power in that.”
– Marc Maron
How do you try? Focus on what you can control. Everything else does not matter. The opinions of others. The boos. The applause. The rejections. The awards. The love. The hate. Even the outcome.
Like the Russian at the end of Rocky IV, do it for yourself.
Treat Life Like A Backyard Pickup Game
Ralph Waldo Emerson might be the wisest man who ever lived in America.
The sage of Concord they used to call him. Emerson declared, “A man is what he thinks about all day long.”
Emerson also declared, “consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Which means you’re an idiot if you think things will always go your way.
A negative mindset simply means you’re afraid of the outcome.
You’re afraid of failing in front of everyone
Afraid of what your parents think.
Afraid they will say no.
Afraid someone else did it better.
Afraid of what your friends think.
And maybe she will say no, maybe your friends will make fun of you. But what does that matter? Is it the end of the world? Not yet. Did you learn something? I bet you did. Will your next attempt be better? You bet your ass.
Look, you’re going to be afraid, but don’t let fear take the driver’s seat. Try this mental exercise to get you in a positive mindset:
Did you ever play any pickup games when you were a kid? Basketball, football, video games, or board games? We don’t think about it anymore, but these pickup games were a unique experience.
I played a lot of pickup basketball as a kid. I was competitive. I hustled. I did whatever I could to win. The background noise cleared, and for an hour, nothing else mattered. When the game ended, no one cared about the outcome—it was just fun playing.
If you’ve experienced this, I’ll wager you were having more fun, you were happier, and performed better than you would in an actual competition. That’s because you’re acting without thinking about the outcome. That’s the mindset we must bring to adulthood. To writing. To our careers. To our art. To our lives.
Remember the flow experience of backyard basketball. Treat life like a pickup game. That’s when we are at our best.
Look, somedays you will wake up and feel like dog shit. Other days you get rejected so many times that you lower your head almost as an impulse. The goal isn’t to be positive all the time – that’s called delusion.
Use these mindsets as tools. Tools you pull out no matter how bad things get.
1.) Always remain a student
2.) Don’t take it so seriously
3.) Life’s a pickup game
Remember their virtue and one day they will become your superpower.