We all experience run-ins with annoying people.
When you get yelled at by a customer for something that wasn’t your fault. The hate comment you received online just for sticking up for a cause you believe in. A “friend” spreading rumors about you.
When I worked in commercial real estate, a client called and chewed me out on my day off. I’m hanging out at the pool, and he’s texting me about appealing for more free rent on a lease agreement.
Free rent!
Like not even about something important, like plumbing, but a concession that the landlords make as a friendly gesture.
I should’ve set a boundary and told him it could wait, but I didn’t. I marched to the office and completed the task.
Then I spent the next 3 days angry and talked my therapist's ears off about the guy.
I remember thinking, screw corporate America. I shouldn’t be wasting my life getting worked up over these idiots.
That was a few years ago.
I’ve recently come to a change of heart about annoying people.
Seriously, Ask Yourself This Question
Ryan Holiday dropped a line of his podcast last week that dropped me like a stunner from Stone Cold Steve Austin.
He interviewed a running influencer named Matt Choi. Matt lives in Austin, and I sometimes see him at local running events, which is why I tuned in.
Matt had recently been “pseudo canceled” for banditing the Houston Marathon. A word runners use to describe borrowing a friend’s bib for a race. The time he posted actually qualified for Boston.
It’s not a great look, but it feels harmless if you ask me. He simply wanted to run a race.
Some people were mad. A few even wrote hurtful comments on social media.
“Ask yourself this question,” Ryan said. “Do you believe it’s possible that there are zero annoying people in the world?”
“Of course not.”
“Exactly! At this moment, you’re dealing with one of those annoying people.”
I think about that question whenever a client acts rude or when someone makes a mean comment about my articles.
When you frame the situation like this, you’re no longer dealing with someone explicitly trying to ruin your life. It’s usually not personal. It’s just another run-in with an annoying person. It won’t be the last.
Another tax for roaming the earth.
I Started Doing Something Weird
I started picking up trash during runs.
When you’re a runner in Austin, you spend a lot of time on Town Lake Trail. This ten-mile, beautifully manicured path is full of greenery and iconic views, and it loops through downtown Austin, Barton Springs, and Auditorium Shores.
I think it’s the best running trail in the country.
Yet, people throw trash all over it. Even though trash cans are located literally everywhere. People who litter are annoying people.
In the past, I’d see the trash, get annoyed, and run right past it—changing nothing except my mood.
Marcus Aurelius wrote that the best revenge is not to be like that person. I used to think this meant not trashing the earth yourself. Now, I believe there’s a little more to that.
Now, if I see a piece of trash, I’ll run over to it, pick it up, and find a trash can.
The other day, I found a box from a local taco chain with a half-eaten taco inside. I picked it up and got taco sauce all over my already sweaty hands.
Sucks, but I wasn’t angry anymore.
I’m not the one who caused the damage. But I also don’t have to be the person who sees it, gets discussed, and just runs past it.
Remember: Annoying will enter your space, but there’s plenty of room for you to do the right thing.