If You Want to Reach Your Destiny, You Will Need to Conquer This One Inner Demon
How often do you say yes to things?
After the sore hamstrings and piles of sweaty laundry, one of the first things you’ll notice about marathon training is the time commitment.
Speed training, CrossFit, yoga — you’re doing something active daily. Long runs can take up to 4 hours, depending on the distance.
But it’s not that simple. Hard things rarely are.
Long runs require your attention 24 hours before the workout and after the fact.
It requires a good night’s sleep, which means you can forget about late nights at the bar. You must eat well, so the Friday beer will have to wait until Sunday. It also means you will have to rest and stay off your feet for a while.
Endurance running is not only about saying yes to the workout, it’s about saying no to the things that impede upon it.
That’s why people love running. It’s a simulation of life.
Anything big and important you’re trying to achieve takes energy, focus, and glacier-sized chunks of your time.
You going to say no to things.
Count on it.
Doing anything big and important means, you must conquer this one inner demon.
You have to conquer FOMO.
I recently moved to Austin, Texas from Columbus, Ohio.
Apart from the heat, there’s one super obvious contrast between the cities. In Columbus, it’s hard to find things to do, it’s a sleepy town, all things considered. You’re usually not missing much.
And Austin? Oh, Austin — it might be the most distracting city in the world.
This month alone, the city is hosting two weeks of the Austin City Limits Music Festival, followed by a Formula1 race.
You’re always missing something.
I often joke that if I were 22 years old, hot out of college with no worries besides an entry-level job, Austin would be the perfect city.
But I’m not. I’m 29 years old. I’m not only older, but I’m a runner and writer. Two things you will not be great at if your default answer is “yes.”
Why live here?
Because living here is an opportunity to practice saying no.
Before I say yes to anything, I run it through this filter.
Here’s what I consider before I go all in on anything:
1.) Did I take care of my responsibilities?
My friend Matt is a nurse practitioner and can easily turn down events without any pushback by saying, “I’m on call.” I know I’m not saving lives like Matt, but why shouldn’t I take my work just as seriously? Writing this article is the single most important thing I will do today. Why should anything stop me?
2.) Would I go to this if my friends weren’t going?
When we say FOMO what we’re actually saying is that we fear exclusion. We fear abandonment or not being a part of the “inside joke.” Here’s a hard truth that successful people know all too well: you’re not actually missing anything.
I mean, seriously, do you want to be the type of person who gets jerked around by other people’s expectations? Do you really need stimulation all day, every day?
Here’s a quote from Ryan Holiday that stopped me in my tracks:
“It feels like you’re free because you’re choosing, but if the answer is always yes, that’s not much of a choice.”
You can’t say yes to your goals without saying no to someone else’s playtime.
The discipline to say no doesn’t mean you’re a shut-in
Saying no shouldn’t feel like you’re punishing yourself.
Last weekend, my original plan was not to go to Austin City Limits — at all. It wasn’t because I had to catch up on writing or clean my apartment, but for some reason, I wanted to prove how disciplined I was.
It was silly.
Saying no simply means you’re saying no to things that get in the way of your main thing.
You can still have fun if you plan accordingly.
I made sure to follow my guidelines before going to the festival.
On Saturday morning, I woke up at 5 am, ran 10 miles around Lady Bird Trail at my marathon pace, and immediately hit the library to work on this article.
I took care of my responsibilities and watched the Red Hot Chili Peppers shred at Zilker Park.
The perfect weekend.